Whispers of the Forgotten
[Linger][Art by Audrey Kawasaki]
“Sverre! Where do you think you’re going at this hour?” Alva yelled from the stove.
“I’m going to find Njall, I can’t imagine how the horse managed to get out of the stables. It seems like I have to have a talk with the boys if they’re being this careless with the livestock.”
“Leave the horse til morning. I don’t want you going out there tonight. It’s a full moon and I don’t feel like being widowed a mere two months after giving birth to our first child. And I’ve told you already, the nisse did it. They’re mad at you for not believing.”
“Oh come on, it’s an hour or so til the sun goes down and I promise I will be back before then. I just want to check the lower field by the woods. Njall tends to stray down there when he’s out grazing,” I replied coming into the kitchen after pulling on my boots. Alva was standing there barefoot with a hand on her hip and our baby girl Karita on the other. She was beautiful even when frowning with her tangled black hair about her face and blue eyes. “Don’t worry so much, I’m sure I can outsmart a troll if I happen to come across one. They’re not very bright you know,” I said leaning in to give each of my girls a kiss on the cheek.
“It’s not the trolls I’m worried about love. It’s the sirens of the forest that scare me.”
•
After walking for what seemed like forever and the sun just setting, I still had yet to find any signs of Njall. That stupid beast had to go and get himself lost and me along with him. Somewhere in the last few minutes I had gotten myself turned around, and knowing that there would be hell to pay from my wife if I didn’t return home soon had me even more frustrated with the situation. But something told me that I was close to finding the animal even though I had gone astray. You have to be lost yourself before you can find what it is you lost my father has always said. And with that thought, the last bit of light faded from between the trees and I heard a soft neigh off in the distance. Taking off in a sprint, I raced east through the forest. Not a few strides later, I heard the same sound again. It was definitely Njall, I’d know that neigh anywhere and there was no way that after hearing it, I was going to leave him behind for the wolves to find. Slowing and casting my gaze about the forest, I caught sight of a squirrel scampering under a log and then the unmistakable swish of Njall’s grey tail from behind a tree a few yards away.
“There you are beast, there will be no oats for you tonight after what you’ve put me through,” I warned as I made my way slowly to the horse, hoping not to spook it into a flight with my sudden appearance.
“Here I am, though I don’t care for being called a beast or eating oats for that matter,” a melodic voice sung out from where the horse stood. I was struck with surprise at the sight that lay before me as I approached a small clearing. The voice had come from a naked maiden with golden hair covering not nearly enough of her bare skin. She was sitting atop Njall barebacked and stroking his long dappled neck like she belonged there. The woman was lovely in a way that hurt.
“I see you have found my horse,” I said trying to keep the shock from my voice, still stunned by the sight of her.
“Yes I have. I found this beautiful creature wandering about the woods, so I thought he could keep me company. I didn’t think someone would come looking for him this late in the day, but I must say I am glad you did," she purred, "I have been alone for ages. The forest can be a cold and unforgiving home for those who rest here.”
As she leaned forward to stroke Njall some more, her hair slide from her back to reveal a tail of her own. Though this was most definitely cow like in resemblance, I knew exactly what this gorgeous creature that lay before me was. Huldra, the word shot through my mind like lightning. She was a huldra, a siren of the forest. Alva was right, I silently thought to myself and I knew from the folktales she read to our nieces and nephews that I was about to be in some serious trouble if I didn’t get out of the woods soon. It actually might be too late already I feared. When I looked back up at the woman’s face, it was clear that I had offended her by staring so long at her rather less than human feature. But she simply smiled a brilliant smile and spoke once more. “What is your name my lovely?”
The sound of her voice made my thoughts stumble at first. I couldn’t remember if it was okay to give such a temptress your name but I couldn’t see how it could hurt me. Maybe if I remained polite, she would let me go. “Sverre,” I answered after another moment’s hesitation.
She sighed at the sound and I thought that I had just made my first mistake. “Well Sverre, my restless wild one, don’t you want to know my name?” she cooed.
“Yes.” No, I thought. I just want to get home and I tried to think of where that was but flashes of endless birches and a ravine tucked against the beginnings of a mountain replaced my sight.
“I am Rebekka, and I’m quite sure you have already figured out what I am. So now I have something to ask of you,” she paused while dragging a thin hand along the back of her delicate neck, pulling the mass of her sunlit hair to her right shoulder. “Will you come with me and stay awhile? It’s been so long since I had any company other than the wild animals that roam about these darkened woods. I can give you the desires of your heart, those secret things you’ve wished for in the dark can be yours. All you have to do is say yes my love.”
Clearing my head, I chose my words wisely hoping not to offend as I answered, “I would love to but my wife and daughter are awaiting my return with the creature you are sitting upon. I am truly sorry but my heart belongs with them.”
As those last words escaped my lips, a rueful smile appeared about her luscious mouth. “I was so hoping I wouldn’t have to do this, but you’ve left me with no choice love.” In the next moment, she was off the horse and standing completely bare mere inches from where I stood. It was as if she had moved in between the blink of an eye. Her next words were like songs on the evening breeze, wrapping around me and pulling me toward her. I can’t be sure of what she said nor did I care at that point. I was just happy to be embracing the beautiful women before me. She whispered lullabies in my ear as she kissed my neck. I wanted to give her all of me but there seemed to be some small part of my heart that pounded in rhythm with danger. In the darkness between the trees my mind struggled to grasp hold of reasons why I should run while this magnificent creature let her soft hands roam up from my chest and wrap around the back of my neck pulling my mouth to hers. The word home was screamed from the recesses of my mind just before the melody overtook me and all other thoughts were lost.
•
I can’t remember anything but Rebekka. We live and make love in the forest and that is our life, but sometimes I feel like this isn’t real and there is someone somewhere calling for me to return. Today we have wandered down on the horse to the stream. Rebekka has me lie down in the moss at the base of a thick tree I don’t know the name of. I find I can’t remember many names, like they are just there on the tip of my tongue and then they disappear. I tried asking what the horse is called but she told me not to worry because a horse is a horse, just like I am simply Sverre and she Rebekka. No beginning, no end.
With the sun peaking its way through the trees, it isn’t as cold today as the morning was. The clouds had dominance over the sky for the past few hours but now its pleasant laying here tangled with Rebekka and watching the horse lap at the running water. Time passes but I don’t know how long. Rebekka sings and she sings, and even when she is just talking it sounds like a song threaded through my veins and I am content to listen. She is singing to me about the mountains when the thundering beat of hooves breaks her melody. A herd of several animals push through the brush and leap across the stream. They resemble the horse but are smaller and tan in color, they are one of the things I have forgotten. Their hurried retreat makes my heart pound in beat with the hooves and I find that I am sweating while Rebekka is utterly still beside me.
“I wonder what has them fleeing their fields so early. I hope it is not hunters,” she says coldly, sending chills down my spine.
“What are they, I can’t seem to remember. They look like the horse... but not,” I ask shyly.
“They are what we call deer my love. And yes I can see how you might see the resemblance to the horse, but as the horse can be domesticated, the deer are wild and free. Just like us,” Rebekka answers with a kiss placed on my shoulder.
At the word deer my mind flashed to life and memories flood back to my conscious thoughts. A baby girl with green eyes, my eyes, is smiling up at me from my arms. Karita. Her name meaning dear and she is my daughter. A dark haired beauty kissing my lips before falling asleep in my arms. My wife, Alva. These memories were dear to me once, before being hidden from me.
“Alva and Karita, I need to go home,” I say urgently as I stand.
“What are you talking about love, you are home. With me is where you belong,” Rebekka replied reaching for my wrist.
I jerked back suddenly, seeing her for was she truly was. Rebekka was still beautiful but she was a huldra, which meant her beauty was a snare, a trap, just like her namesake.
“Stay with me, you know it’s where you want to be,” each word dripping with song, and reaching for me once more.
I run towards the horse, Njall, and leap up onto his back grabbing at the reins once seated. I need to get out into the open before I am ensnared once more. But to my dismay, Rebekka stands in front of the animal, frightening him and blocking our attempt to escape as she grabs hold of his mane.
“Do you really want to do this, leave me and all that I can give you?” she purrs.
“Yes!” I shout, trying to keep her words from seeping into my mind.
“It’s too bad, I thought we had something Sverre,” and at the sound of my name from her lips she took hold of my mind. “Try finding your way back to your wife without any memory or thoughts other than my name. You will scream for me in the dark and I will not come. You will be lost to a sea of nothingness. That is what you have chosen. Goodbye my love, you will miss me,” she struck the horse’s backside sending him into a gallop while my thoughts were erased with the wind.
•
“He’s back! He’s really back!” Arne the stable boy shouted. “Come and see miss, he’s even got Njall with him.”
At the sound of the boy’s voice, I dropped the spoon I had been holding and ran out of the house toward the barn. It had been a month since I gave up hope that my husband would return. I knew he had been lost to the forest and its darkness. But Arne met me halfway and jogged around the stables and out into the field with me following behind. I stopped dead in my tracks the moment my eyes saw him riding that damned horse. It was true, my Sverre was really back, but my heart told me that something was wrong. He did not react to seeing me or Arne for that matter. His hunched posture remained the same as the horse slowly trotted over to the boy. As Arne took the reigns and Sverre looked down at me, I saw that there was no recognition, no light in his pale green eyes. He was empty.
“Ma’am, he’s back,” Arne said seemingly confused at the lack of reaction between the two of us.
“No, no he is not. This is not my husband, this is but a shell of the man I love. He is a ghost whispered amongst the trees,” I said softly and slowly. “She took him from me and returned little more than a shadow.”
“What do you mean ma’am? Who took him?”
“The huldra.”
As soon as the words were out of my mouth, both the boy and Sverre visibly shivered in the sun as Njall whinnied. “Get him down and take the horse into the stables then bring him inside. I doubt there is much that can be down but we will try. Even if he doesn’t remember me, I will show him the love I promised. Now hurry, tomorrow I will need you to go into town and bring back his parents, a priest, and buy something made of iron that he can wear. I will meet you in the house, I have to finish lunch and get the baby up from her nap.”
As I turned away from the man I loved and the beast that stole away into the night, I let myself cry for the first time since he left. Why didn’t you listen to me in the first place? I thought silently as I wandered into the house and into the bedroom, pausing only to look down at our sleeping daughter and the bells and iron scissors hanging above her crib.
“They may have taken your father my love, but they cannot have you my beautiful sleeping babe.”
© Sonja Scutaro 2012.
“I’m going to find Njall, I can’t imagine how the horse managed to get out of the stables. It seems like I have to have a talk with the boys if they’re being this careless with the livestock.”
“Leave the horse til morning. I don’t want you going out there tonight. It’s a full moon and I don’t feel like being widowed a mere two months after giving birth to our first child. And I’ve told you already, the nisse did it. They’re mad at you for not believing.”
“Oh come on, it’s an hour or so til the sun goes down and I promise I will be back before then. I just want to check the lower field by the woods. Njall tends to stray down there when he’s out grazing,” I replied coming into the kitchen after pulling on my boots. Alva was standing there barefoot with a hand on her hip and our baby girl Karita on the other. She was beautiful even when frowning with her tangled black hair about her face and blue eyes. “Don’t worry so much, I’m sure I can outsmart a troll if I happen to come across one. They’re not very bright you know,” I said leaning in to give each of my girls a kiss on the cheek.
“It’s not the trolls I’m worried about love. It’s the sirens of the forest that scare me.”
•
After walking for what seemed like forever and the sun just setting, I still had yet to find any signs of Njall. That stupid beast had to go and get himself lost and me along with him. Somewhere in the last few minutes I had gotten myself turned around, and knowing that there would be hell to pay from my wife if I didn’t return home soon had me even more frustrated with the situation. But something told me that I was close to finding the animal even though I had gone astray. You have to be lost yourself before you can find what it is you lost my father has always said. And with that thought, the last bit of light faded from between the trees and I heard a soft neigh off in the distance. Taking off in a sprint, I raced east through the forest. Not a few strides later, I heard the same sound again. It was definitely Njall, I’d know that neigh anywhere and there was no way that after hearing it, I was going to leave him behind for the wolves to find. Slowing and casting my gaze about the forest, I caught sight of a squirrel scampering under a log and then the unmistakable swish of Njall’s grey tail from behind a tree a few yards away.
“There you are beast, there will be no oats for you tonight after what you’ve put me through,” I warned as I made my way slowly to the horse, hoping not to spook it into a flight with my sudden appearance.
“Here I am, though I don’t care for being called a beast or eating oats for that matter,” a melodic voice sung out from where the horse stood. I was struck with surprise at the sight that lay before me as I approached a small clearing. The voice had come from a naked maiden with golden hair covering not nearly enough of her bare skin. She was sitting atop Njall barebacked and stroking his long dappled neck like she belonged there. The woman was lovely in a way that hurt.
“I see you have found my horse,” I said trying to keep the shock from my voice, still stunned by the sight of her.
“Yes I have. I found this beautiful creature wandering about the woods, so I thought he could keep me company. I didn’t think someone would come looking for him this late in the day, but I must say I am glad you did," she purred, "I have been alone for ages. The forest can be a cold and unforgiving home for those who rest here.”
As she leaned forward to stroke Njall some more, her hair slide from her back to reveal a tail of her own. Though this was most definitely cow like in resemblance, I knew exactly what this gorgeous creature that lay before me was. Huldra, the word shot through my mind like lightning. She was a huldra, a siren of the forest. Alva was right, I silently thought to myself and I knew from the folktales she read to our nieces and nephews that I was about to be in some serious trouble if I didn’t get out of the woods soon. It actually might be too late already I feared. When I looked back up at the woman’s face, it was clear that I had offended her by staring so long at her rather less than human feature. But she simply smiled a brilliant smile and spoke once more. “What is your name my lovely?”
The sound of her voice made my thoughts stumble at first. I couldn’t remember if it was okay to give such a temptress your name but I couldn’t see how it could hurt me. Maybe if I remained polite, she would let me go. “Sverre,” I answered after another moment’s hesitation.
She sighed at the sound and I thought that I had just made my first mistake. “Well Sverre, my restless wild one, don’t you want to know my name?” she cooed.
“Yes.” No, I thought. I just want to get home and I tried to think of where that was but flashes of endless birches and a ravine tucked against the beginnings of a mountain replaced my sight.
“I am Rebekka, and I’m quite sure you have already figured out what I am. So now I have something to ask of you,” she paused while dragging a thin hand along the back of her delicate neck, pulling the mass of her sunlit hair to her right shoulder. “Will you come with me and stay awhile? It’s been so long since I had any company other than the wild animals that roam about these darkened woods. I can give you the desires of your heart, those secret things you’ve wished for in the dark can be yours. All you have to do is say yes my love.”
Clearing my head, I chose my words wisely hoping not to offend as I answered, “I would love to but my wife and daughter are awaiting my return with the creature you are sitting upon. I am truly sorry but my heart belongs with them.”
As those last words escaped my lips, a rueful smile appeared about her luscious mouth. “I was so hoping I wouldn’t have to do this, but you’ve left me with no choice love.” In the next moment, she was off the horse and standing completely bare mere inches from where I stood. It was as if she had moved in between the blink of an eye. Her next words were like songs on the evening breeze, wrapping around me and pulling me toward her. I can’t be sure of what she said nor did I care at that point. I was just happy to be embracing the beautiful women before me. She whispered lullabies in my ear as she kissed my neck. I wanted to give her all of me but there seemed to be some small part of my heart that pounded in rhythm with danger. In the darkness between the trees my mind struggled to grasp hold of reasons why I should run while this magnificent creature let her soft hands roam up from my chest and wrap around the back of my neck pulling my mouth to hers. The word home was screamed from the recesses of my mind just before the melody overtook me and all other thoughts were lost.
•
I can’t remember anything but Rebekka. We live and make love in the forest and that is our life, but sometimes I feel like this isn’t real and there is someone somewhere calling for me to return. Today we have wandered down on the horse to the stream. Rebekka has me lie down in the moss at the base of a thick tree I don’t know the name of. I find I can’t remember many names, like they are just there on the tip of my tongue and then they disappear. I tried asking what the horse is called but she told me not to worry because a horse is a horse, just like I am simply Sverre and she Rebekka. No beginning, no end.
With the sun peaking its way through the trees, it isn’t as cold today as the morning was. The clouds had dominance over the sky for the past few hours but now its pleasant laying here tangled with Rebekka and watching the horse lap at the running water. Time passes but I don’t know how long. Rebekka sings and she sings, and even when she is just talking it sounds like a song threaded through my veins and I am content to listen. She is singing to me about the mountains when the thundering beat of hooves breaks her melody. A herd of several animals push through the brush and leap across the stream. They resemble the horse but are smaller and tan in color, they are one of the things I have forgotten. Their hurried retreat makes my heart pound in beat with the hooves and I find that I am sweating while Rebekka is utterly still beside me.
“I wonder what has them fleeing their fields so early. I hope it is not hunters,” she says coldly, sending chills down my spine.
“What are they, I can’t seem to remember. They look like the horse... but not,” I ask shyly.
“They are what we call deer my love. And yes I can see how you might see the resemblance to the horse, but as the horse can be domesticated, the deer are wild and free. Just like us,” Rebekka answers with a kiss placed on my shoulder.
At the word deer my mind flashed to life and memories flood back to my conscious thoughts. A baby girl with green eyes, my eyes, is smiling up at me from my arms. Karita. Her name meaning dear and she is my daughter. A dark haired beauty kissing my lips before falling asleep in my arms. My wife, Alva. These memories were dear to me once, before being hidden from me.
“Alva and Karita, I need to go home,” I say urgently as I stand.
“What are you talking about love, you are home. With me is where you belong,” Rebekka replied reaching for my wrist.
I jerked back suddenly, seeing her for was she truly was. Rebekka was still beautiful but she was a huldra, which meant her beauty was a snare, a trap, just like her namesake.
“Stay with me, you know it’s where you want to be,” each word dripping with song, and reaching for me once more.
I run towards the horse, Njall, and leap up onto his back grabbing at the reins once seated. I need to get out into the open before I am ensnared once more. But to my dismay, Rebekka stands in front of the animal, frightening him and blocking our attempt to escape as she grabs hold of his mane.
“Do you really want to do this, leave me and all that I can give you?” she purrs.
“Yes!” I shout, trying to keep her words from seeping into my mind.
“It’s too bad, I thought we had something Sverre,” and at the sound of my name from her lips she took hold of my mind. “Try finding your way back to your wife without any memory or thoughts other than my name. You will scream for me in the dark and I will not come. You will be lost to a sea of nothingness. That is what you have chosen. Goodbye my love, you will miss me,” she struck the horse’s backside sending him into a gallop while my thoughts were erased with the wind.
•
“He’s back! He’s really back!” Arne the stable boy shouted. “Come and see miss, he’s even got Njall with him.”
At the sound of the boy’s voice, I dropped the spoon I had been holding and ran out of the house toward the barn. It had been a month since I gave up hope that my husband would return. I knew he had been lost to the forest and its darkness. But Arne met me halfway and jogged around the stables and out into the field with me following behind. I stopped dead in my tracks the moment my eyes saw him riding that damned horse. It was true, my Sverre was really back, but my heart told me that something was wrong. He did not react to seeing me or Arne for that matter. His hunched posture remained the same as the horse slowly trotted over to the boy. As Arne took the reigns and Sverre looked down at me, I saw that there was no recognition, no light in his pale green eyes. He was empty.
“Ma’am, he’s back,” Arne said seemingly confused at the lack of reaction between the two of us.
“No, no he is not. This is not my husband, this is but a shell of the man I love. He is a ghost whispered amongst the trees,” I said softly and slowly. “She took him from me and returned little more than a shadow.”
“What do you mean ma’am? Who took him?”
“The huldra.”
As soon as the words were out of my mouth, both the boy and Sverre visibly shivered in the sun as Njall whinnied. “Get him down and take the horse into the stables then bring him inside. I doubt there is much that can be down but we will try. Even if he doesn’t remember me, I will show him the love I promised. Now hurry, tomorrow I will need you to go into town and bring back his parents, a priest, and buy something made of iron that he can wear. I will meet you in the house, I have to finish lunch and get the baby up from her nap.”
As I turned away from the man I loved and the beast that stole away into the night, I let myself cry for the first time since he left. Why didn’t you listen to me in the first place? I thought silently as I wandered into the house and into the bedroom, pausing only to look down at our sleeping daughter and the bells and iron scissors hanging above her crib.
“They may have taken your father my love, but they cannot have you my beautiful sleeping babe.”
© Sonja Scutaro 2012.